What Are We Waiting For?
This is an article from the Los Angeles Times from 1992. I decided to type it in and add it to my website as it is a very important article to me that encouraged me to change my life. I first heard it in 1996 in a speech made by Lucy Swindol, an inspirational speaker, and I have listened to it (and the entire speech) many times since then. It is still very special to me.
I can’t find it online and I have no idea who
the writer is. If you know, please let me know as I want to give credit where it
is due.
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My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister’s bureau and lifted out a tissue wrapped package. "This" he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite. Silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomic figure was on it. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York at least 8 or 9 years ago but she never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment and then he slammed the drawer shut and he turned to me and said, "Don’t every save anything for a special occasion. Every day that you’re alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the midwestern town where my sister’s family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about all the things she had done without realizing that they were special. I’m still thinking about his words and they have changed my life.
I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about all those weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I’m trying to recognize these experiences and cherish them and I’m not saving anything!
We use our good china and crystal for every special event such, as losing a pound; getting the sink unstopped; the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it and my theory is that if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties because clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip in my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I’m not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think she would have called family friends and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think that she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I’m guessing because I’ll never know.
It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I’ve put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with "someday". Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write "one of these days." Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband and my daughter and my loved ones often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard to not put off or save anything that would add laughter and luster to life. Every morning when I open my eyes I say, "This is special."